Top Ten Books Left Out of the Bible

10. The Book of Darwin:  What really happened...

 9. Madonna's "Sex"

 8. The Book of Timothy (Leary):  Achieving a higher consciousness.

 7. The Necronomicon

 6. The Book of David (Koresh):  The finer points of brainwashing.

 5. The bonus full-nude centerfold of Sandra Bullock and Teri Hatcher
    (God scrubbed the idea before it went to press)

 4. The Book of St. Wilt (Chamberlain):  Absolved over 20,000 wenches

 3. The Book of Copernicus:  No Mr. Pope, the universe does not revolve
    around you.

 2. The Idiot's Guide to the Internet

 1. How to Make a Christ-kebob